The question of "just what exactly is necessary?" has returned to me many times, but I've never known quite how to answer it. As I advance in this journey of trying to figure myself out (which is different from but related to knowing myself), I have found much comfort and good sensibility in the writings of 20th century Christian philosopher/mystic Simone Weil. I don't always agree with all of her perspectives, but she thought deeply about things, and for that, she was supremely rewarded (I imagine). I'll quote her thoughts on necessity.
"There are cases where a thing is necessary from the mere fact that it is possible. Thus to eat when we are hungry, to give a wounded man, dying of thirst, something to drink when there is water quite near. Neither a ruffian nor a saint would refrain from doing so.
"By analogy, we have to discern the cases in which, although it would not appear so clearly at first sight, the possibility implies a necessity, we must act in these cases and not others."
"We should do only those righteous actions which we cannot stop ourselves from doing, which we are unable not to do, but, through well directed attention, we should always keep on increasing the number of those which we are unable not to do."
"In contemplation, the right relationship with God is love, in action it is slavery. This distinction must be kept. We must act as becomes a slave while contemplating with love...."
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